Alison

The 12 September, 2006, was the day my life changed. My husband Franco left for work in the early hours as usual. He gave me a good morning kiss, and I heard the front door close and drifted off to sleep again only to be woken at 7.20am by the sound of the doorbell. It was my his colleague’s wife, saying we had to go to the hospital as he had had an accident. A cold sweat came over me instantly knowing something was wrong. She drove me to the hospital, forgetting that my husband’s place of work was on the way, and we encountered his car destroyed on the driver’s side with policemen and cordons everywhere. I started to feel panic set in. I wanted to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.

The journey seemed like for ever. I rushed into A and E to find him with multiple injuries to his spine and lungs. Franco was the strongest person I had ever met. What had he done to deserve this? He was so kind and gentle with everyone, and he had already had his fair share of pain thrust upon him at the age of 20 finding out he had a tumour, only 5 months after we had met in 1984. Extreme therapy was used to fight it and he miraculously recovered.

Within an hour or so of being with him at the hospital they rushed him into Resuscitation and gave him an emergency Tracheostomy. He was now hooked up to all the machines possible. How can one person endure such pain for so long? He fought so hard to overcome his injuries, but they were too serious and on the 12 January,2007, he died with me by his side.

I can’t recall very well the following months, I was barely able to remember anything from the previous four. All the days flowed into one. No day, no night, a blur of getting up, and continuing my life without my wonderful husband.

I knew I had to get back into a routine. Franco and I unfortunately never had children and my parents and brother had all now returned to England. I had nothing and none to put my energy into. His family were trying to cope with the loss themselves, so I started my English Language courses a few weeks later for family and friends to occupy my time. The hustle and bustle of children and their enthusiasm for life gave me the focus I needed. My friends were exceptional, they never left me alone for long, inviting me to join them on every occasion. My new life, the new me emerged. Franco will always be with me.

I mention him everyday in one way or another. Even with the obstacles put before us in our 22 years together, we had a fabulous marriage, and wonderful times together, leaving lots of happy memories, and that is what I remember the most.

A few years later in 2014,the same date 12 September, would come back to haunt me, my wonderful mother died after a blood clot, following two strokes, only a few days after the death of my beloved father too. I could never have imagined one date could have given me so much sorrow. I have become the woman I am today because of these life changing events. I feel strong. You can go on, and you will get through it. Take one day at a time and surround yourself with people who love you, whether that be friends or family. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just follow it and stay strong.